29 days before departure.
The dates are set, leave has been approved and I’m going to New Zealand.
Old habits die hard and I admit that I only just booked my flights a few nights ago. Anybody who knows me well enough will not be surprised by this. What may not be so obvious however, is my near constant struggle with anxieties; feelings that could sink an adventure long before it has a chance to begin.
I dislike admitting that. I see it as a weakness of mine, especially since I had allowed such a thing to exist, unidentified (until recently) and unchecked, for so long. That, and I dislike how damned pervasive it is. Everybody has anxieties, to some degree. Everybody is worried about something.
This year, I learned that my anxieties are just the thoughts that I associate with the otherwise normal bodily reactions of the fight or flight instincts; elevated heart rate, nerves, sweating, blushing, increased body temperature and so on. That’s far less menacing than some faceless demon feeding on my self confidence. In reality, it’s just my brain slipping its leash and dashing off into the woods. That, I can handle.
In light of this discovery, I’ve been working hard on reversing the avoidance techniques and defensive habits that I’ve built up over the years. One way, for example, might be to go to a foreign country to embark on a solo motorcycle tour…
What could go wrong? So many things. But there’s beauty in that. Failure isn’t to be feared, new situations aren’t to be avoided and all the gorgeous sights in the world needn’t remain unexplored.
Join me as I attempt to channel the experiences in the likes of The Motorcycle Diaries (sans revolution) and Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance (oh so sans maintenance).
New Zealand. South Island. November 2019.
One man, one motorbike, one deeply personal journey.
